A ‘One-Minute Pitch’ On The Teevee – But Wait, There’s More…

Joseph Furtenbacher speechified for a rather small (yet somehow unnervingly large) CBC camera,

Hello everyone, my name’s Joseph Furtenbacher, and though I say it myself, I am the most intelligent and compassionate person presently occupying our humble sphere. Sad but true. You’ll no doubt be wondering why I haven’t bothered to dress up. The short answer is: anyone who would vote for someone because they look nice is not someone I’d want to have to answer to down the road.

As for why I’m running, I believe this city is on the same slippery spending slope that has sent others into the ditch, and it’s become apparent to me that I’m the only one who has any real ideas on how to turn it around. For the extraordinary evidence behind these claims, please see my WordPress blog.

Now, as to why you should vote for me, I’ll work for the median income of forty thousand dollars, I’m willing to subject myself to recall from one third of voters, my preferred debate format is a free-for-all between myself and my opponents, and last but not least, it will help you to demonstrate that you care about yourselves at least half as much as I care about you.

Thank you for listening, and have a good day.

Only afterwards did he learn that he’d wasted three of the sixty seconds he’d been given…

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About josephfurtenbacher

World's Best Polymathic Macroethicist
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3 Responses to A ‘One-Minute Pitch’ On The Teevee – But Wait, There’s More…

  1. paleo meats says:

    Learn more about the eating paleo, and should Christians try it?
    But dont meddle in all his issues.

  2. SEO says:

    Very good information. Lucky me I found your site by chance
    (stumbleupon). I have book marked it for later!

    • Thanks, but unless I start getting some ongoing good-faith conversation, it seems unlikely that I’ll be writing much more. Evidently my thoughts are not humanity’s thoughts; not even vaguely…

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