Joseph Furtenbacher unleashed the St. Bernards of xenophilia,
My name is Joseph Furtenbacher, and I’m running for Mayor of Ottawa. I would be very much interested in hearing why you apparently have no problem with assigning my interest in serving this city to the realm of irrelevancy (while knowing nothing about me, having obviously never bothered to check the websites of any of the candidates, such as <https://josephfurtenbacher.wordpress.com> ). I would also like to know why you decided to go with those perennial crowd pleasers, the dancing dinosauric duffers, with their subevolutionary solicitations and paymentless programs, who lack even the knowledge contained in first year economics and psychology textbooks, in short, those battling beauties known as The Front-Runners.
Mold in public housing, and Larry O’Brien with a $1.8 million mansion sitting empty. Must be nice to have a place to get away from it all (it’s in Brockville) Apparently when you have a garage full of muscle cars, buying local (real estate) isn’t all that important.
Or Mr. Watson, who loved Ottawa so much he quit the top job and left town for the bright lights and high (elite?) society that could only be found in Toronto. Shall I go on? (I’ll take that as a yes.)
Has anyone in your organization ever considered why we have progressive income taxes but flat property taxes? Can anyone explain why this discrepancy exists? Can any of your members explain why the city whines about never receiving sufficient gas tax revenues, but refuses to rezone gas stations and raise their rates? Why, while we have an $800-million debt ($200-million of it added this year) we’re talking about digging a top-of-the-line tunnel that will solve exactly nothing for most of the city? (Contrary to popular belief, not all Ottawans are office workers.) I would encourage telecommuting by rezoning and raising the rates of buildings where people produce nothing but papers or electron flows, and I would encourage on-site fruit and vegetable and affordable housing production by lowering or eliminating property taxes on owners who pursued these options. I would also raise the rates on luxury homes, and if more people decided to emigrate than immigrate, it would merely mean that all that much more affordable housing could be created, and I’m sure there are many people who would be more than happy to perform those jobs in return for a more modest salary and home, realizing that they’d been allowed to live in one of the best cities in the world.
Sorry to take up so much of your time, but you really need to give your head a shake.
Mayoral Candidate, Ottawa 2010
Dean Karakasis, Executive Director of BOMA Ottawa, opined,
From: “Joseph Furtenbacher” <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:56:57 -0400
Cc: Xanthippa Socrates<email@example.com>; sylvain<firstname.lastname@example.org>; Sandy Bryden<email@example.com>; Robin Lawrance<Robinlawrance18@yahoo.com>; Randall Denley<firstname.lastname@example.org>; OTAG<email@example.com>; Glen Gower<firstname.lastname@example.org>; Cockburn, Neco \(ott\)<NCockburn@thecitizen.canwest.com>; allyy caaarella.<email@example.com>
My name is Joseph Furtenbacher, and I’m running for Mayor of Ottawa…
However, having evidently thought the matter over (or perhaps having had a good night’s sleep), he decided that appeasement was the better part of prudence, and fired off an ‘explanation’,
Dear Mr. Furtenbacher,
Thank you for letting us know your position on the issues below.
Just to be clear our debate is not an open public forum, but a BOMA Member forum, and the choice of candidates to invite was made by our membership (our voting members) through committee not by our office.
While I appreciate your desire to participate, and would endorse public forum debates include all candidates, ours is a 2 hour Members’ Forum not a public forum, and the specific issues to be addressed and the choice of the candidates was our members choice given the restrictions of time available.
Although I can appreciate you disagree with their choice, I am bound to follow their direction.
By policy, I will share your disappointment with our Board of Directors, by forwarding your e-mail to them at our next Board Meeting and so they are aware of your comments.
Never one to sufflate fools gladly (his needling usually had the opposite effect), Joseph stood up,
Good to know you’re only *representing* people who are more interested in being entertained than in preserving the system of governance that others died to protect. I’m also impressed by the way they’re able to sacrifice a full two hours out of their television viewing schedules once every few years. It makes me feel that we almost have a hope in hell of avoiding the fun times the rest of the world is currently going through.
But how is it that though your job description contains the word ‘Director’, you are ‘bound to follow their direction’? Surely you’re not one of those modern ‘leaders’ who leads by asking their followers which way they want to go? It’s good, though, that you are resolved to follow policy in re sharing my disappointment with your Board of Directors; I’m sure they will be equally impressed by the values I hold dear.
Hope the annointed ones provide lots of promises (and maybe even a few ideas on how to actually pay for them) in return for their dinner. Such dedicated citizens certainly deserve something more than business as usual. I, myself, can’t help but feel that the $2.x billion being tossed around would be better utilized in reducing the affordable housing backlog by more than 2% per year. But perhaps when the Downtown TunnelVision is finally up and running, they’ll allow homeless people to stay there as was done in Britain during WWII.
I hope I haven’t insulted you too badly. I generally don’t have any problem with people who believe they know more than me, but no one likes being talked down to by children.
Prophetically yours (I recently came across a document I wrote fifteen years ago that describes our present situation to a ‘T’),
‘Mayoral Candidate’, Ottawa 2010
p.s. I must admit, you’ve got me shaking my head, and not in a good way.
. . .
Dean Karakasis acknowledged his inability to change anything,
Dear Mr. Furtenbacher,
Thank you for letting us know your position on the issues below…
This was followed by a Summit,
Dean Karakasis sued for peace with a hand-picked selection of his finest words…
I respect your position, best of luck in the election.
Joseph Furtenbacher couldn’t help but notice that his parsnips remained unbuttered, and was about to say so, when he noticed that the Sun was setting – it was almost too dark to read. He glanced to the far right, and became aware of a dim light struggling to make its presence known – The Ottawa Star Chamber Of Commerce. His face assumed its best ‘Perry Mason, Fighter’ expression – as a proud Citizen, he knew he had a duty to battle xenoapathetic destruction wherever it raised its gilded head.
Giving a wave to Dean, he turned towards the Valley, and started trampling down the Right side of the Hill.