Bedtime For BOMA

Joseph Furtenbacher unleashed the St. Bernards of xenophilia,

Hi,

My name is Joseph Furtenbacher, and I’m running for Mayor of Ottawa. I would be very much interested in hearing why you apparently have no problem with assigning my interest in serving this city to the realm of irrelevancy (while knowing nothing about me, having obviously never bothered to check the websites of any of the candidates, such as <https://josephfurtenbacher.wordpress.com&gt; ). I would also like to know why you decided to go with those perennial crowd pleasers, the dancing dinosauric duffers, with their subevolutionary solicitations and paymentless programs, who lack even the knowledge contained in first year economics and psychology textbooks, in short, those battling beauties known as The Front-Runners.

Mold in public housing, and Larry O’Brien with a $1.8 million mansion sitting empty. Must be nice to have a place to get away from it all (it’s in Brockville) Apparently when you have a garage full of muscle cars, buying local (real estate) isn’t all that important.

Or Mr. Watson, who loved Ottawa so much he quit the top job and left town for the bright lights and high (elite?) society that could only be found in Toronto. Shall I go on? (I’ll take that as a yes.)

Has anyone in your organization ever considered why we have progressive income taxes but flat property taxes? Can anyone explain why this discrepancy exists? Can any of your members explain why the city whines about never receiving sufficient gas tax revenues, but refuses to rezone gas stations and raise their rates? Why, while we have an $800-million debt ($200-million of it added this year) we’re talking about digging a top-of-the-line tunnel that will solve exactly nothing for most of the city? (Contrary to popular belief, not all Ottawans are office workers.) I would encourage telecommuting by rezoning and raising the rates of buildings where people produce nothing but papers or electron flows, and I would encourage on-site fruit and vegetable and affordable housing production by lowering or eliminating property taxes on owners who pursued these options. I would also raise the rates on luxury homes, and if more people decided to emigrate than immigrate, it would merely mean that all that much more affordable housing could be created, and I’m sure there are many people who would be more than happy to perform those jobs in return for a more modest salary and home, realizing that they’d been allowed to live in one of the best cities in the world.

Sorry to take up so much of your time, but you really need to give your head a shake.

Yours,

Joe

Joseph Furtenbacher
Mayoral Candidate, Ottawa 2010

Dean Karakasis, Executive Director of BOMA Ottawa, opined,

Another opine.

From: “Joseph Furtenbacher” <fs910@ncf.ca>
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:56:57 -0400
To: <executivedirector@bomaottawa.org>
Cc: Xanthippa Socrates<xanthippas.chamberpot@gmail.com>; sylvain<sylvain.henry@gmail.com>; Sandy Bryden<indyjones@sympatico.ca>; Robin Lawrance<Robinlawrance18@yahoo.com>; Randall Denley<rdenley@ottawacitizen.com>; OTAG<admin@ottawataxpayer.com>; Glen Gower<ggower@ottawastart.com>; Cockburn, Neco \(ott\)<NCockburn@thecitizen.canwest.com>; allyy caaarella.<ally.carella@hotmail.com>
Subject: Democracy

Hi,

My name is Joseph Furtenbacher, and I’m running for Mayor of Ottawa…

However, having evidently thought the matter over (or perhaps having had a good night’s sleep), he decided that appeasement was the better part of prudence, and fired off an ‘explanation’,

Dear Mr. Furtenbacher,

Thank you for letting us know your position on the issues below.

Just to be clear our debate is not an open public forum, but a BOMA Member forum, and the choice of candidates to invite was made by our membership (our voting members) through committee not by our office.

While I appreciate your desire to participate, and would endorse public forum debates include all candidates, ours is a 2 hour Members’ Forum not a public forum, and the specific issues to be addressed and the choice of the candidates was our members choice given the restrictions of time available.

Although I can appreciate you disagree with their choice, I am bound to follow their direction.

By policy, I will share your disappointment with our Board of Directors, by forwarding your e-mail to them at our next Board Meeting and so they are aware of your comments.

Sincerely,

Dean Karakasis
Executive Director
BOMA Ottawa

Never one to sufflate fools gladly (his needling usually had the opposite effect), Joseph stood up,

Hi Dean,

Good to know you’re only *representing* people who are more interested in being entertained than in preserving the system of governance that others died to protect. I’m also impressed by the way they’re able to sacrifice a full two hours out of their television viewing schedules once every few years. It makes me feel that we almost have a hope in hell of avoiding the fun times the rest of the world is currently going through.

But how is it that though your job description contains the word ‘Director’, you are ‘bound to follow their direction’? Surely you’re not one of those modern ‘leaders’ who leads by asking their followers which way they want to go? It’s good, though, that you are resolved to follow policy in re sharing my disappointment with your Board of Directors; I’m sure they will be equally impressed by the values I hold dear.

Hope the annointed ones provide lots of promises (and maybe even a few ideas on how to actually pay for them) in return for their dinner. Such dedicated citizens certainly deserve something more than business as usual. I, myself, can’t help but feel that the $2.x billion being tossed around would be better utilized in reducing the affordable housing backlog by more than 2% per year. But perhaps when the Downtown TunnelVision is finally up and running, they’ll allow homeless people to stay there as was done in Britain during WWII.

I hope I haven’t insulted you too badly. I generally don’t have any problem with people who believe they know more than me, but no one likes being talked down to by children.

Prophetically yours (I recently came across a document I wrote fifteen years ago that describes our present situation to a ‘T’),

Joe

Joseph Furtenbacher
‘Mayoral Candidate’, Ottawa 2010

p.s. I must admit, you’ve got me shaking my head, and not in a good way.

. . .

Dean Karakasis acknowledged his inability to change anything,

Dear Mr. Furtenbacher,

Thank you for letting us know your position on the issues below…
etc.

This was followed by a Summit,

Dean Karakasis sued for peace with a hand-picked selection of his finest words…

I respect your position, best of luck in the election.

Joseph Furtenbacher couldn’t help but notice that his parsnips remained unbuttered, and was about to say so, when he noticed that the Sun was setting – it was almost too dark to read. He glanced to the far right, and became aware of a dim light struggling to make its presence known – The Ottawa Star Chamber Of Commerce. His face assumed its best ‘Perry Mason, Fighter’ expression – as a proud Citizen, he knew he had a duty to battle xenoapathetic destruction wherever it raised its gilded head.

Giving a wave to Dean, he turned towards the Valley, and started trampling down the Right side of the Hill.

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About josephfurtenbacher

World's Best Polymathic Macroethicist
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2 Responses to Bedtime For BOMA

  1. Graham thompson says:

    Polymathic? Seriously? Why would you, as a mayoralty candidate, use this word? In my 40 years, I have never heard of this word. I doubt many friends have either.

    That said, you come across as a very intelligent person in your blog. However, you are also coming across as someone voters have no chance of relating with. I would bet 95% of voters would have difficulty reading your entries. I hate to say this due to its very own contradiction, but you need to dumb it down a bit. Get your ideas out there and make them easy to understand. Make it simple.

    By the way, you might also want to get a haircut and a shave and delete the entries about making 12k per year for the past 10years. I know you’re being honest (admirable) but not doing that great financially. And the $40k per year thing. Symbolic at best. It’s peanuts and not worth changing my vote for.

    Please take this the way it was meant. I was looking to see if I would even vote this year (hate both the leaders) andI came across your entry in wikipedia.

    All the best

    Graham

    • Graham asked,

      Polymathic?..

      Yup.

      ..Seriously?..

      Uh-huh.

      ..Why would you, as a mayoralty candidate, use this word?..

      What other word would you use to describe someone with a solid grounding in philosophy, psychology, economics, sociology, politics, history, law, pedagogy, theology, architecture, computers and nutrition?

      ..In my 40 years, I have never heard of this word..

      I admit my dictionary stops at ‘polymath’, but Google lists ‘about 29,600 entries’

      ..I doubt many friends have either..

      Do any of them have anything approaching my qualifications?

      ..That said, you come across as a very intelligent person in your blog..

      I was thinking the same thing about you; you’re the first person who has commented on any of the websites I’ve put up. And I especially appreciate your use of the phrase ‘That said,’; it’s part of the stylistic (as opposed to conceptual) half of the social networking virus I started.

      ..However, you are also coming across as someone voters have no chance of relating with..

      I agree. It may come as a surprise to you, but I find them equally hard to relate to. You see, to me, life is more important than happiness, whereas most of them believe the exact opposite. Most of them are subevolutionary (controlled by their emotions), whereas I try to be supraevolutionary (controlled by my intelligence).

      ..I would bet 95% of voters would have difficulty reading your entries..

      I would bet that same 95% of voters are addicted to status and/or comfort, and would have difficulty reading *anything* that isn’t entertaining, potentially lucrative, or both.

      ..I hate to say this due to its very own contradiction, but you need to dumb it down a bit..

      That would be true if I had any interest in being answerable to people who needed things dumbed down. Unfortunately, I don’t.

      ..Get your ideas out there and make them easy to understand..

      Getting my ideas out there is the problem, since only around one tenth of one percent of voters have seen fit to visit my page, and the media are doing far too well financially to waste any of their valuable time on me. I think once this election is over, I’m going to start my own online newspaper, ‘The Ethical Times’, combining the best features of Facebook, Huffington Post, and WordPress. And as for making my ideas easy to understand, do you really think I’d win more votes if instead of saying, ‘I think we should reduce our dependence on fossil fuels’, I said, ‘I think we should rezone gas stations and raise their rates’?

      ..Make it simple..

      The trouble is, I can’t bring myself to obey the KISS rule; I believe it is responsible for most of the problems we face today. I follow my own rule, the KIASAPBNS rule, which stands for ‘Keep it as simple as possible, but no simpler.

      ..By the way, you might also want to get a haircut and a shave..

      Don’t forget a suit:) I also need new glasses and teeth. But in one of the many coincidences I routinely face, this very morning I began my campaign to convince voters that I’m responsive to their wishes, even when they don’t bother to ask, by trimming my beard to a respectable, almost scholarly, length. My hair will follow suit (I usually cut it every summer) if any significant number of people give the slightest indication that it would change their minds about voting for me (I’m not holding my breath).

      ..and delete the entries about making 12k per year for the past 10years..

      If you knew how many opponents that 12k has silenced or converted, you’d suggest no such thing. I’ve found that most people would rather die than admit how much they make. So much for transparency.

      ..I know you’re being honest (admirable) but not doing that great financially..

      If you feel that doing great financially is anywhere close to the most important thing in life, I pity you. I can think of lots of people who have died prematurely precisely because of how well they did financially. I’d suggest you ponder the phrase I used on Wikipedia, ‘unethically challenged’, which means I have difficulty extracting money from people in return for helping them to shorten their own lives while wrecking the environment and destabilizing society. Then you might ask yourself how many of the candidates who are ‘doing great financially’ would spend a couple of hours responding to someone who has no plans to vote for them, and whether they would be any more likely to respond once they were in office. And you should be aware that in the last few years, I’ve lent around six thousand dollars I’ll probably never see again, to friends who earn more than twice what I do, one of whom lost a $100,000 cottage when he declared bankruptcy.

      ..And the $40k per year thing. Symbolic at best..

      The fact that you’re okay with the idea that people with no qualifications should be allowed to step into $168k jobs indicates to me that your logic is symbolic at best. And have you considered the financial ramifications of all city salaries being pegged to that number? Millions saved every year, and millions more in uploads avoided due to lower tax brackets.

      ..It’s peanuts and not worth changing my vote for..

      Thank you for letting me know that my biggest sacrifice is meaningless. Do you think I wouldn’t *enjoy* making more in a year than I’ve made in the last twenty?

      ..Please take this the way it was meant..

      I will. However, the fact that you couldn’t be bothered to read the thirty thousand words I spent the last six months writing means that I’ll be adding a generous sprinkling of salt to it.

      ..I was looking to see if I would even vote this year (hate both the leaders) andI came across your entry in wikipedia..

      I would certainly advise you not to vote; as I’ve remarked elsewhere, there’s an environmental cost to going out, and in this instance, there is no offsetting benefit. If you support me, you’ll be sacrificing your vote, and if you support anyone else, you’ll be sacrificing the city. This election will not have a happy ending.

      All the best

      Graham

      Likewise (though you may not believe it),

      Joe

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